your one beating heart

and then

one morning

you wake up to find

that the life you lived

and every broken, lonely day

that added up

to where you are

right now

was all just a nightmare

preparing you

for the dream

that you never dared

to dream

because Love

isn’t made of fear

or power

or control

and it isn’t

made to break you

or shape you

into something you never

wanted to be –

something

less

than whole

and it certainly

isn’t

meant to silence you

when you have flowers

and stars

aching to burst

from your one

beating

heart

Love

isn’t meant

to break you –

or it isn’t Love

at all

and the day

that it happens

is a day you never thought

you’d ever live

to see –

like the dawning

of a second moon

on the horizon

or snow

in the middle

of a SoCal summer –

the day

when every dream

that you never dared to dream

comes true

the day

when Love

finally finds you

it’ll scare you

at first

feel strange

and unfamiliar

like nothing

you’ve ever felt before –

being given the space

to fully open

and seeing only softness

in their eyes –

not contempt

or disgust

but adoration

even pride

at the courage it took

to stop dimming

the light inside –

your shining light

reflecting back to you

from their eyes

and then

only then

will you realize

why God never allowed

another soul

to love you

why He fought so hard

to free you from the shackles

you yourself placed

around your own ankles

those broken people

and the broken days

may have been in His plan –

but they were never

His end

goal

for what is God

if not Love?

and why

would He build a resilient heart

made out of Love

if He only intended

to let that heart

shatter

and wither

and die

without ever experiencing

the Love

it so freely

gave away?

and I know I stayed

far too long

trapped by the fear

that “this”

was as good

as it got –

rationalizing

rationalizing

that the pain I felt

loving someone

who never loved me

who only ever hurt me

was a small price to pay

to get

to love

someone

but then

one day

I finally

walked away.

and now

every morning

I get to wake up

next to a man

who loves me –

whose own light shines

so bright

that it makes the idea

of dimming my own

seem distant –

like the last fading wisps

of a dream

this man

who holds me gently

and fills my heart –

he is patient

and he is kind

he is not envious

or boastful

or proud

he is selfless

and humble

and he delights in helping

those around him

and his hope

and his faith

are like glowing beacons

in the dark

his smile

could light

ten thousand stars –

and his smile

is directed

toward me.

I know that I still

have a long road to travel

to be the person

God wants me

to be

but I am grateful

for every scar

every battle

that I won

or lost

because every step

leading up to now

has taken me

right

to your side.