atlas

he may not see 

the world 

that I carry upon my back 

but he feels 

the tension in my shoulders 

and the knots in my neck 

and he does not 

shy 

away

I have heard it said 

that time 

heals all wounds 

but therapy has taught me 

that this 

is only partly 

true 

for what really heals

a wounded nervous system 

wired for survival 

and terrified 

of chaos 

and cages 

and control -

is safety. 

it is safety

and calm 

and a soft love 

with strong hands 

who holds me gently 

who sees me fully 

and still 

decides 

to stay.  

if you 

could tell atlas 

one thing 

what 

would 

it be? 

though I know 

he would 

he can’t help me shrug 

this world off my back 

so his strong 

gentle hands 

press

into my shoulders 

the sore muscles 

in my neck 

do what they can

to soften 

the years of stress 

the tension 

and fear 

and chaos 

trapped in my muscles 

in my memories 

and in my heart 

these same strong hands

that hold me 

so tightly to his chest 

on the days when I feel 

like I can’t hold myself 

together 

for one moment 

more 

for so many years 

love was a dream 

far too dangerous 

to even dare 

so I went on 

only surviving 

holding myself together 

holding this world 

on my back 

too afraid 

to shrug -

and then 

I met this man 

and everything 

changed

in a moment. 

I found safety

when I met him 

and calm 

a soft love 

with strong hands 

who held me gently 

who saw me fully 

and finally gave me

the safety I needed 

to let the world

roll gently 

back 

to the ground.