ashes

when 

was the first time 

you felt like love 

was something 

you had to earn? 

and when 

did you finally 

come to peace 

with the very real 

possibility 

that you might 

die alone?

for the ashes 

falling all around you

floating silent 

melting

like the finest flakes 

of winter’s first snow

the ashes

are all the pieces 

of your broken life

and the love 

you tried so hard 

to give away 

burned to the ground 

before you ever 

had the chance 

to clear the building

so many innocent lives 

lost 

lost in the flames 

in the ashes 

in the burned down building 

of what used to be 

hope

and dreams 

something we don’t 

talk about 

not anymore 

because hope is the cause 

of so many lives 

lost

so many of my own lives 

that i have lived 

lost 

and turned to ashes 

erased by the wind 

ever changing 

because love 

should never be something 

you have to earn 

a transaction 

an exchange 

for services rendered 

or platitudes dealt 

and if it’s anything 

like this 

then maybe it’s better 

to know now 

to know early 

to make peace 

with the fact 

that you probably will 

end up alone 

made of nothing 

but ashes 

in the end.